|Fetus and Dragon Sunrise, Palawan 2012|
Spiritual growth is so much the artist’s journey. Our inner world is soul art, our lives its heartfelt canvas. Like true artists, we have to find that delicatebalance between willfulness and surrender—whento act, when to still. We have to allow our form tochange as intuition demands. Home is where the art is. Chaotic Magnificence… - Jeff Brown
It's 3 am. I just came out from a bad flu. My eyes are a bit bruised but I'm wide awake from all the sleeping for the last 3 days to recover. I shouldn't keep my eyes open yet something from the tradition of storytellers that document the stories of humanity urged me to write.
When I was in gradeschool, I used to wake up to a dawn procession called the Aurora which my Lola (grandmother) would join in from her living room. She would light a candle and open her windows. I would stay still in my bed or join her and curl up with her on her rocking chair often in awe at this dawn time ritual with people carrying a statue of Mary with candles, rosary beads, and flowers.
This Aurora ritual has never left me.
In my university days, I would be able to study for my exams with a clear head at this time of dawn after an early evening's rest. Years on, I would find that the best time to work on my paintings is at this beautiful time.
At about 3 am is also the time when I would wake up with deep epiphanies, my own conversations with God. I haven't talked to God lately. I have broken up with him many times over the last two years as I did my inner work. But this early morning, I found myself just like in my early 20s waking up at this time feeling the embrace of the universe. I cried like I never cried before but also just cried like I did before. However this one is new. I was finally releasing deep anger at God.
I once asked elders who God was when I was young and I was warned not to question God's identity as it will be considered blasphemous. Having followed different yoga, tantra, and mystical paths since I was 17, I thought I had some kind of idea who this being was.
Maybe its the chaotic magnificence as Jeff Brown says. Maybe its kundalini rising as my friend and inner dance teacher Pi would say. All I know is that its all part of my own shifting. I have to thank myself for the huge leaps I've done over the last two years. Saturn return: your orbiting journey is almost done.
I haven't been awake at this time with a good rest behind me. Most often lately its the time that I would catch some sleep. It's really a nice feeling to be in this peaceful zone. While studying an introduction to the I-Ching and oriental cosmology, I learned that this time is the spring time where wood energy prevails, a time that monks find best to wake up and meditate. The day actually begins here.
Maybe this is a trailmarker for a new day. 3 days of flu broken at 3 am on the 3rd day.
Not bad for a mini resurrection.
But then again, everyday, we die and get reborn again. It's a matter of how much one pays attention to this process. It may not be related but it's interesting how the recent shootings in Aurora, Colorado showed the Dark Knight movie. Maybe its saying that the dark night comes in tandem with the breaking of dawn.
Many say we are entering a time of great change and this change involves all these inner shiftings and lots and lots of dark nights. It is in these dark times when we are meant to shine our light for ourselves and for everybody.
Taking it one rebirth at a time.
“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.” - Rabindranath Tagore
|This large angel cloud appeared above Sunday's prayer vigil in Aurora, Colorado. Photo by Crystal Fuller as shared by |
Angel Intuitive Doreen Virtue
Now as Jack Kornfield says "After Ecstacy, the Laundry" : What to do with 3 days of backlog to wrap up an aid report, prepare for an international conference, and finish a mural for a streetchildren shelter?
Bathala Na. Bathalanawa.