Living from the EartHeart

LIVING FROM THE EARTHEART

Thank you for visiting. This site holds space for insights about living from the Earth's Heart.We are mirrors of each other. Whatever brought you here and whatever brought my words to you is part of a sharing of presence; an affirmation that we both exist in embodying our own journeys side by side.. an affirmation that we are One.

The EartHeart Journey is a sharing of my experiences from earth, heart, and art. My reflections have evolved on so many levels since I started journal writing when I was 11. What used to be a blog for my art projects and some public musings is now becoming a portal for sharing about consciousness, creativity, sustainability… of light, life, and love. Everything here is part of a sacred journey to oneness within and everywhere. However you resonate, may it reveal to you you inspiration, intuition, or insight for your own life journey.


Note: My new blogs can be found on my Portfolio Site.

Monday, September 27, 2010

spirit song sampler


Inspired by the liberating experience of performing in public last night during my creativity sharing for GINHAWA's fundraiser, I am moved to share my creative spirit further as I post this spirit song out to the world :-)


>>>click here to listen to my spirit songs

For the longest time I have always wanted to sing for the spirit through songs from the psalms, praises, gospels, devotional music, ghazals, mantras, bhajans, and kirtans. I have realized that one of my forms of prayer is singing. Every morning, as much as I can I start my morning ritual with either meditation, yoga, tai chi, journaling, or dancing. But there are days when I just feel compelled to just let my voice be a channel of gratitude and light.

One day, I discovered spirit singing after a week of depression. I was taking a shower and felt the healing power of water running through my body. I was moved by my spirit to just sing and flow. Facing the sun, I connected myself to the voices of my ancestors who sang to the great spirits of the mountains and the sky and to the voices of all other elders and spirit singers from different cultures (from celtic, to hindu, to sufi, to african, and others) and time who have deeply empowered me to claim this role too.

Even with my classical voice training and chorale membership through the years, I still feel I am in a new territory with this medium. I wanted to learn the melismatic voices of my elders but this requires going deeper to my roots and their permission through rituals. Insha'Allah maybe someday I can learn.

For this song, I felt that a mix of my classical training and a natural melismatic melody just moved me from within as energy from the source organically just flowed .... and it came with a beautiful vision.

Here's an old reflection on spirit singing inspired by the writings of Hazrat Inayat Khan.



I have been reflecting peacefully, and from time to time - restlessly about my spirit’s longing to sing. There are no words really that are fitting to describe how i feel about this reflection. I would have to, well, sing it. I have been lying on my bed in the dark earlier listening to the rain, strumming the guitar and just humming whatever sound comes out of my weary yet eager body. I was about to merge into a state of depression again so I had to catch myself and process myself with this post.
When I was young, my grandmother would bring me to church everyday. Sitting on the pews during a mass and singing with the choir almost always moves me in tears even as a grown up.
As I reflect now, I realized that my spiritual experiences are always rich with the beauty of sound weaving through prayers from different faiths, indigenous chants, mantras, bhajans, ghazal poetry, chorale music,the sound of a flute, the rhythm of drums, the heart of saints through an erhu or a violin, piano solos during dark existential moments, and beautiful songs by my favorite artists who sing with their spirits.
I have never been so conscious about this before. Sound is such an integral part of my spirit’s journey of awakening to my true self. I have been so wrapped up in my visual art and expression that I have almost forgotten how important this is to me.
With this reminder I realize that the first level to realizing my spirit song is the awareness of my breath and voice. In this rain with the beautiful Native American flute and drum music playing on my radio, I am guided to listen more inside.
And outside.
With this practice, I try to consciously listen and appreciate the motherly love from indigenous lullabies wafting through a CD, laugh with the giggles of children playing outside, pause to pray with the old man’s song about the spirit every morning through the bathroom wall, remember the heartbeat of a lover, acknowledge the calm my deep breath brings to my tired body, and meditate on the power of silence.
I learned this the hard way.
When I was 16, I ran away from a prestigious glee club audition just right before my turn to sing! I had the lowest self esteem even if I was a soprano. This pattern of fear has also allowed me to let someone blackmail me about my love for singing and crush my confidence. Whenever people are around, I try not to make my voice loud and sometimes I just settle for a hum of a tune even if I really wanted to sing. It’s funny that I can only sing with freedom after meditating alone in my room, when I’m taking a shower, or when I wash the dishes late at night when everyone is asleep.
I am still learning.
Through our spirits we source the breath of life. We breathe through our body and we create vibrations. Through our vibrations we manifest everything. Sufi musician Hazrat Inayat Khan talks about the natural law of vibrations and how they are affected by its source and medium.
“The reach of vibrations is according to the fineness of the plane of their starting-point. To speak more plainly, the word uttered by the lips can only reach the ears of the hearer; but the thought proceeding from the mind reaches far, shooting from mind to mind. The vibrations of mind are much stronger than those of words. The earnest feelings of one heart can pierce the heart of another; they speak in the silence, spreading out into the sphere, so that the very atmosphere of a person’s presence proclaims his thoughts and emotions. The vibrations of the soul are the most powerful and far-reaching, they run like an electric current from soul to soul.”
The voice according to Hazrat Inayat Khan is the highest form of sound as it is natural, coming from the soul directly from breath.The spirit of my songs will always reflect how I see myself and my understanding of my soul. This I need to work on as I rediscover the true source that moves through me.
I am always moved by the sacred sound and energy of prayers, even the different names we call God in different traditions. The great insight here is that no language, culture, time, and even space can capture a sound. It can only be experienced and allowed to flow through. Only when the spirit and the body are clear and connected can the life force of the universe manifest through breath, vibration, voice, and sound.
As I deepen on this journey, I am learning that spirit singing cannot be forced. It only releases the highest notes beyond the lung and the throat towards a head tone once there is no fear or need to control. It only manifests with the purest intentions. It only moves you when the message and the instrument are connected to the sacred. Like the melismatic and angelic voices of indigenous elders, sufi singers, sopranos and tenors, it only flows note by note and never independent of each other. Even a staccato has a vibration in between, if you listen closely.
If I listen closely,
spirit singing
is when
the spirit,
the singer,
and the song
are always one.
***For Lola, for all the beautiful spirit songs I learned by heart because of you.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

creativity sharing at GINHAWA


I don't exhibit or perform for the public except for important causes like this one. I would like to invite you to support my work and other artists to fundraise for GINHAWA (Growth in Wholeness and Wellness Associates)  and its creative healing and transpersonal therapies with people going through life transitions. Part of the proceeds go to my community art projects. 

Tickets at P250 with  yummy vegetarian dinner, performances, and exhibits. Meet like minded artists and healers too!

Come earlier in the day for our garage sale where I sell pre-loved clothes, bags, shoes, and my hard to let go but I have to books :-)

Hope to see you on Saturday 26 September, 2010 at GINHAWA 100 K-6 St. East Kamias, Quezon City, Philippines. Garage Sale starts at 10 am while performances and exhibits start at 5:30 pm.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

random act of art making



















Over morning coffees with the Oneness Jedi Russell last week in the mountains, we play with this beautiful spirit, a 4 - year old named Bana.

As a child, and even as a grown up, I loved drawing on everything - on walls, on my skin! While eating oranges and making up stories with Bana where I play a mango (yes I play a fruit in her story) and she a farmer, I thought, what would Bana like to do with me? What would I do if I were a child? Hmmm...













,






Playfully and patiently, Bana gets her beautiful tattoos...





















I remember I had a snapshot vision of Bana's face last April while on an island before I even met her.Such a sweet spirit she is.



















So voila! There's nothing so beautiful and affirming like rainbows and butterflies!


Artmaking is so beautiful!


(photo credits: russell maier)

Monday, September 20, 2010

Self Reflection on a Stretched Canvas

I have been staring at the fresh, white, primed, and stretched canvas sitting on my easel at the foot of my bed for the past few days. The last time I (tried to) paint was last year. It has been a challenge to paint after someone you cared for slashes through your painting with a knife. It is even harder to paint your face if you are still emerging from a body disorder that made you think you were ugly for the past 15 years. Many of you do not know this about me. But it is alright to talk about this now. I am healing.

I can paint other things, but my spirit is set on painting myself now. Perhaps there's this affirming conscious vanity that artists undertake in making a self-portrait. Perhaps there this healing transformation that takes place as one affirms one's existence by making a mark on the canvas.

I have doodled on self portraits in my journal and I've played around with photoshop with my picture before but I've never done a painting of myself.

Self Portrait, photoshopped
(playing around with a picture of a beautiful nebula with Photoshop (2004))
a doodled self portrait 2005
(a doodled self portrait on my journal in 2005)

(playing around with the web cam one inspired morning playing with the sun behind me :-) with neil young and the buddha in the background (2007))

Now is the time for it. The universe is calling.

Doing a self-portrait is not easy. You go through lots of sh*t like self hate, self doubt, and just pure, in the core melancholy.

But there's this beautiful part of self-reflection in painting your portrait. I start affirming the beauty in myself, the dreams I am made up of, and the future self that I wish to project and manifest through my painting. Just like many motivational seminars and books say, a vision board with images of the future that you want will help manifest your dreams and aspirations.

In my journey through art, visioning is a very powerful way of healing and alchemy. There is this bridge I create with my art between my inner and outer self; my fears and my loves; my weaknesses and my strengths; my spirit and my body; my true self and my acquired self; my past, present, and my future; my realities and my dreams; ...
and the list goes on....